Grand Finale (aka Jamboree)

Originally, I was going to spend some time venting about my frustrations with the weeks leading up to the Mites Jamboree. But then a couple things happened.

First, while I was volunteering at the welcome table, an older man stopped and asked if I had a skater in the tournament. When I told him that it was our first year of hockey and our first Jamboree, he told me that he envied me. He followed with the story of his grandson, and how he had never missed one of his grandson’s games, even the away games in Chicago, Kansas City and St. Louis. Now his grandson was grown and living in California, and he missed watching him play. Before leaving he told me again how lucky I was to be at the beginning of this life.

Later that day I returned to the arena, having finished my volunteer shift and then going to breakfast with the family, and I saw the two people who were essentially in charge of running the whole weekend. The Mites coordinator and his wife were running around, keeping things going, stepping in when volunteers were missing or wherever else needed. Unlike me, they had not had a chance to go home – I doubt they had even had a chance to eat (maybe nachos from the snack bar). The kicker is, this is just a volunteer position for them, too. They’re not getting paid to work their tails off to make sure that my kid has a fun and successful hockey season. They’re doing it because they love hockey and they love the kids.

Then, what really sent me over the edge was watching my boy play hockey. I remembered how worried I was when we first started because he could barely skate. I worried about his age, his size, his maturity. Would he get frustrated when he wasn’t the only one with the puck? (yes) Would he be a good teammate? (yes) Would he be able to hold his own and score goals? (yes, yes) Would he have fun and work hard? (yes, and…not so much)

Six months had vanished since those questions and concerns first crossed my mind. Suddenly, here I was watching him skate in his final games of the season. Is this even the same kid? This boy could skate and kept his eye on the puck and broke up plays and even scored a few goals! (Oh wait, there’s a snow angel… yep, my kid.) I thought about what the older man had told me, about how fast it goes by. I thought about how fast this year had flown by, how much had happened since October. And then, when my son’s face lit up and he lifted his stick to celebrate his goal, I knew that not one of the frustrations or inconveniences we had experienced through the season could ever be bigger than this.

He shoots, he scores!

Age Groups

Since the season is just about over, it’s high time for me to finally figure out how the age groups work. But first, let me explain where I am coming from here. I was a swimmer. And we swimmers like to keep things simple, so the age groups for our summer league were as follows:

8 & Under

9-10

11-12

13-14

15-18

Now assuming you knew what age your child was at the cutoff date, you should be able to fairly easily deduce in which age group they would be competing. For example, if your child was 11 when the cutoff date rolled around, you would want to pay attention to the 11-12 swimmers. Makes perfect sense.

Then I enter the realm of hockey and I hear terms like “mites”, “squirts”, “peewee”, “bantam”, and “midget”. Most of those names make me think of little kids, but I had already gathered from my husband that “midget” was actually one of the older age groups. Which doesn’t make sense at all. Aside from being somewhat derogatory in this (sometimes overly) PC world, “midget” usually indicates a smaller version of something much bigger. So “midget” hockey players should be very small, shouldn’t they? But why would it be that easy?

So, I used Google and it led me to to The Hockey Source, who told me the age groups for hockey are as follows:

Tyke / Mite – 5 to 6

Novice / Mite – 7 to 8

Atom / Squirt – 9 to 10

Pee Wee – 11 to 12

Bantam – 13 to 14

Midget – 15 to 17

Junior – 15 to 20

Hmmm… makes perfect sense, except not really. And if you’re wondering what the difference is between “Atom” and “Squirt”, it’s location, location, location. Canadian hockey has different names than American hockey which, for a frist time Hockey Mom in Minnesota who is married to a Canadian, only adds to the confusion.

I have also learned that some organizations keep the younger Mites (aka Mini Mites in these parts) separate from the Mites, but in our winter season they’re all thrown together, AND they can start at 4 years old, not 5. This is why, when my miniature 4-year-old decided to drop his gloves and take on the kid he felt had unjustly knocked him down, he literally faced a kid twice his size. But we’ve already covered that topic.

At last, 5 months after my first experience in the rink, I can finally say with certainty that the boys I saw during those hockey tryouts were 13. Or 14. Possibly 15, but only if they were way on the other side of the cut-off dates… makes perfect sense, right?

Outdoor Ice

Some things you just can’t appreciate unless you experience it yourself. Some things you can’t experience unless you live far enough north of the equator. Outdoor ice is one of those things.

If you’ve ever watched a biography, a history, a special story or any kind of tribute to hockey, you have been exposed to plenty of footage of skaters on a frozen pond. The the sun shining down (or not), trees towering dark above the pristine white snow, backdropping a collection of jerseys with heroes’ names on kids of all sizes and skills. The sound of skates slicing through the ice, sticks cracking against one another, and young voices calling out to their teammates, who were chosen earlier that morning by dividing the stick pile…

Last weekend, due to a tournament at our home rink, our team was relegated to finding another slab of ice on which to skate. Luckily, being in Minnesota, there is an abundance of free ice – all courtesy of Mother Nature herself. Of course, Mother has been a little testy this year. She’s kept it plenty cold to freeze all the lakes, ponds, and outdoor rinks, but most weekends it’s been just a little TOO cold. Last weekend was another story, and the weather was beautiful… almost too beautiful.

See, there’s a tricky balance when it comes to the outdoor rinks. Obviously it needs to be cold enough to freeze, but then you want it warm enough to skate without getting frostbite, but not too warm or the ice will get soft, and that’s just no good at all. How can you tell when it’s getting too warm to skate? Seeing kids skating in short-sleeved t-shirts is a good sign that you’re getting close.

So we’re out there, in the mid 30s, sun shining, kids playing, sticks clacking… It was on the verge of too warm for skating, but perfectly pleasant for spectators. Our coaches kept it pretty informal so when those short-sleeved ten-year-olds skated over and asked if they could run drills with our team, they joined right in.

And that’s the attitude of outdoor ice. It doesn’t matter how good you are, or how big you are, or who you came here with, the kids are all here for one thing: to play hockey. And there’s something magical about watching the game evolve among the kids themselves, without buzzers or referees. Kids who barely know each other, working together and inventing new plays to get the puck down the ice. All ages, with young teens easing up on a pass to give a younger, less skilled kid the chance to score the goal. And I can keep trying to put it in words, but it’s a feeling you can only know through experience. And once you have experienced it, you will feel it every time you watch that footage of skaters on a frozen pond.

One final thought about outdoor ice… I’ve realized that by marrying a Canadian and raising a Minnesotan, I will probably never move back to a warm climate. When hockey is in the blood, it’s almost impossible to imagine living in a place without frozen ponds or neighborhood rinks. For example, I love to visit Dallas, and I have a lot of friends there. Even if I could get past the fact that I could never learn to cheer for the Stars (or the Cowboys, but this is a hockey blog so I won’t get started), I could never ask my boys to live in a city where “cold” is too warm for outdoor ice.

Pre-game Routines

Seasoned hockey players likely have a very specific pre-game routine.  Based on a few episodes of ”A Day in the Life” on the NHL Network, this generally involves a morning skate, some carb loading, possibly a nap, et cetera.  The truly superstitious (a.k.a. goalies) probably have a routine outlined down to the minute with little deviation.  Routines are important, they get the hockey players in the right mindset to play, and hopefully win, the game.

For youth hockey players, routine is just as important, possibly more so.  Granted the carb-loading is pretty unnecessary, but ensuring that your young skater has sufficient rest is critical!  A lesson we learned the hard way on Sunday.  Our 4-year-old is in that stage between needing naps and skipping naps.  Sometimes he can do without, other times he requires a few hours.  Occasionally, hockey practices and games are scheduled smack dab in the middle of nap-time.  This leaves us with the dilemma - Beforehand, Afterwards, or Not At All?

Napping Beforehand would be ideal, but only if there is enough time for him to sleep to his full extent and wake up on his own.  Because nothing is worse than waking a preschooler when they are still too tired to function.  Then try dressing that near-comatose child in full gear and you’re really asking for trouble!

Afterwards is always a possibility, but you run the risk of a tired kid fighting his way through hockey (literally… don’t worry, I’ll get there!).  And then when playing hockey adds to the fatigue, you run the risk of your child sleeping through dinner and then throwing off his entire nighttime routine – which only leads to more exhaustion the next day.  Not At All is about the same, but with an early bedtime that evening, you can usually get back on track pretty quickly.

So here’s what happened.  Saturday’s hockey was at naptime.  Our schedules defaulted us to the Not At All option.  That evening, he went to his favorite cousins’ (second cousins? first cousins once removed?  whatever – my cousins) house, so with a lot of excitement it was a slightly later evening.  When he came back the next morning at 10:30 AM, I took one look at him and said, NAP!, knowing that two hours of sleep would be better than none.  Unfortunately he didn’t fall asleep immediately, and ended up with only about 90 minutes before it was time to start dressing.  Naturally, we had the unpleasant experience of waking a tired child (what’s that old saying?  Let sleeping tots lie?).  After much whining and moping and some bribery on our part, he was up and dressed and we were on our way!

The first time he dropped his gloves, it was a little funny – he didn’t do anything, just dropped his gloves and stick and skated away.  I tried to figure out what he was doing (heading towards a meltdown, in case you’re wondering).  The first time he tried pushing one of the other kids, I cringed.  The second time he dropped his gloves, I knew we were in trouble.  Then he went after a kid twice his size – seriously, double – and I knew it was over. 

If it wasn’t MY kid causing the commotion, it would have been comical.  Picture a miniature hockey player (roughly 3 1/2 feet tall) picking himself up off the ice, and cross-checking (attempting to) a player towering head, shoulders, and half a chest over him.  The giant simply holds out his hand and the little guy falls to the ice.  Now, if you hadn’t been watching the whole scenario, you might think the big kid was a bully, shoving that tiny skater down, making him cry.  But I did watch the whole thing.  And the ankle-biter was to blame.  And I was mortified!

Thankfully, this is not normal behavior on his part.  But it does make you reevaluate how and what you’ve been watching.  Have there been too many Don Cherry highlight videos?  Have we shown too much excitement for Boogie?  As adults (and avid Coach’s Corner fans), we appreciate the value of enforcers, and frankly enjoy the emotion of a good clean hockey fight.  But kids can’t figure out the difference.  They are what they watch!

So we’ll lay off the hockey fights.  We’ll cheer for skating and stick handling.  And, whatever else is going on in our lives, we will make sure that our child is well rested before each and every game!

First Game, First Goal

Technically we missed the first game because we were on our way to Canada for Christmas (I know, you’d think we’d be more dedicated to our son’s future NHL career).  But Sunday was OUR first game, so that’s all that really counts.

In case you’re a novice (not to be confused with the age group, Novice… and no, I still have not checked Wikipedia to find out how old that is), let me explain to you how hockey games go with first-year skaters in our league.  First, there’s a lot of chaos while four teams of 4-8 year old boys and girls anxiously wait for the Zamboni to finish.  Then, even more chomping at the bit while the coaches put up a padded barrier down center ice and position the four nets to accommodate the two simultaneous games being played.  Next, all the parents get up and move because nobody guessed correctly on which end of the ice their child would be playing.

Once the blankets and hot coffee get readjusted, the cameras come out – no need for video AND photography, in this century one camera does it all!  The coaches then figure out who the “starters” will be.  The big secret to starting in first-year Mites is to keep your helmet within arm’s reach of the coach… get a knock on the head and you’re first on!  Finally, all the skaters get out on the ice, the on-ice coaches help move them sort of into position and try to hold them off until after the puck is dropped for the face-off between the two (if the coaches were able to hold off the rest) centers.  The puck drops and the game begins, with the players rotating off the ice every two minutes.  Now, two minutes would be an eternity in upper levels of hockey, but between the slipping, and the falling, and the “passing” out to no-man’s land, and the chasing down of the “pass”, and the crashing into that big foam barrier on center ice, and the skating right past the goal while trying to shoot… two minutes is just about right!

Now comes the tricky part… how to record the game when the glass makes everything so blurry?  My camera can’t focus on the action beyond the puck-marked plastic protecting me from those deadly slapshots!  But if you sit behind the bench, then you can stand up and hold the camera OVER the glass to get optimal focus and zoom… at least, it works in our arena.  Problem one solved, moving on to problem two: how much of the game to record?  I mean, really, you’ve all watched home videos of other people’s kids, if not literally at their home, most definitely online!  And we all know that what Mom and Dad might think is cute for 4 excruciating minutes, was really only a laugh for the first 20 seconds.  Clearly, I can’t record the entire hour, I don’t even know if my memory card will hold that much footage!  Plus, there is the need to take actual pictures, and while 21st century cameras do it all, they can’t do it all at once.

Now, this may not seem like a huge problem, but let’s just say you record your child’s first shift.  Then let’s say you take pictures all during his second shift.  Now let’s say that by the third shift you feel obligated to pay some attention to the 2-year old girl who, despite adoring both hockey and her older brother, is starting to get a little restless.  So, now let’s say that you turn the camera off for 10 seconds… TEN SECONDS!!  What do you think would happen then?   Naturally, at that moment, your child will score the first goal of his long and storied hockey career.  And you have nothing to show for it.  And you call yourself a Hockey Mom… disgraceful.

And now what do you give NHL Films when they want to do a tribute on the greatest hockey player of the 20s and 30s?  There is no record of his first goal ever.  It will have to be an interview with the teary-eyed-father of the player.  “I will never forget my son’s first goal, in his very first game, when he was just four years old…”  Blinking back the tears, “He was so excited for that game – he told us he was going to score 100 goals!  We tried to prepare him for the fact that he might not score at all, you know,  we wanted him to have fun regardless.  Then, on just his third shift on the ice, I saw him going for the net.  He took a shot and fell down, his first shot was stopped, but my boy didn’t give up!  No way!   He kept on that puck, even while on the ice, and finally poked it right into the net!  That’s tenacity.  Just like The Rocket.”

Now that I think of it, maybe all that lying down on the ice was preparation for his first goal after all.  And all this time I wanted him up on his feet!   There is still so much for me to learn….

Men on the Ice

My favorite thing about hockey practice is, naturally, watching the boys skate when they’re having fun and playing.  My second favorite thing is watching the men on the ice as they struggle to figure out their role in all of this.  Hockey player?  Dad?  Coach?

A large majority of the men were hockey players long before anything else.  For years and years, when they laced up their skates and hit the ice, there was only one thing.  Hockey.  And they were there to play.  So here they are, lacing up their skates and hitting the ice… and what can they do?  How do you turn off a lifetime of training? It is definitely more difficult for some than others.

Now that we are further into the season, most of them have been able to turn off the hockey player.  There are still a few who pick up loose pucks and shoot them into the net (um, did  you notice that 5-year-old coming up behind you with his eye on that puck?  yeah, it wasn’t lying there for you, champ).  But for the most part, the men seem to be able to leave the hockey player in the locker room, or at home, or where ever they left him.

So what next?  Dad or coach?  I can see how this dilemma is a little tougher.  All of the coaches have at least one of their children on their team.  And if your child is the one lying on the ice (yes, mine is not the only one), the parent in you wants to do something about it.  But the coach in you is struggling to make sure that you treat all the kids as equally as possible.  But the parent in you wants to do everything you can to ensure your own child’s success.  And the coach in you wants to ensure the success of your team.  So the struggle continues.  And even if many of them can turn off the parent for most of the practice, there are definitely a lot of fathers on the ice, at least at some point during the hour.

There is one more challenge.  Even if they have discovered how to be a coach and only a coach, there is another decision: NHL coach or Mites coach?  Now, for us rational logical people, the answer is quite clear.  NHL coaches get paid boatloads of money and very rarely have 4-year-olds on their team.  So you’d think one could look at his wallet and/or his roster and determine which level he is coaching.  This is not the case for all coaches.  There are a few who appear to believe that their charges on the ice will one day (SOON) be toting Lord Stanley’s Cup. 

This is especially distrubing since the level of our teams, ‘A’, are first year skaters (yes, it does seem backwards that the ‘A’ teams are the lowest level, while the ‘D’ team is the elite).  So can someone tell me why it is so crucial for a first year skater who, as far as I can discover, is definitely not older than 8 years old and most likely in the range of 5-6 years old, would need to be able to “catch” the coach while doing crossovers?  I mean, really, do you even need to put in the mind of a child that he should be able to keep up with a 40-year-old man?

Which actually brings me back to my first favorite thing.  I will say that I do appreciate the fact that you need to learn to skate in order to play actual hockey.  But the kids don’t care about the skating drills.  They don’t want to crawl along the boards or jump over sticks or race down the ice (well, racing is a biological function for boys of any age, so that part is probably ok).  Listen to me, Men, if you pay attention enough to see how their faces light up, how the energy of the entire rink changes when pucks or balls are thrown on the ice and the kids are allowed to play, then you would know what your role is.

Momager

Beware the last-minute parent meetings, called in the locker room after some parents have already scurried off with their children.  Especially if you’re married to an uber fan of the sport.  And he’s already been enlisted as a coach.  Because when the question is asked: Does anybody want to volunteer to be manager?  Chances are, you will either volunteer or be volunteered.

It’s all good, really.  Despite the fact that the only thing I know about hockey is how to enjoy watching it, I think I can manage team management.  It’s a baptism by fire into the realm of youth hockey (perhaps by the end I will know how old a Bantam player is?).

My first set of responsibilities: help the coach collect all player/parent contact info; help the coach figure out when the guy selling branded gear is going to be around; help the coach organize distribution of team jerseys and socks; help the coach keep the website updated; help the coach with assorted other tasks.  I never knew the coach had so many off-ice responsibilities…no wonder they need a manager!  Plus, I’m pretty sure that party planning duties will be on the docket somewhere down the road.  Woohoo!

So, other than my newly acquired status within the team, more big news is the newly purchased skates over the weekend.  Our little hockey player was previously skating on what one might call “starter skates”.  They remind me of my old roller blades, with a single latch thingy rather than laces.  But the new skates, oh the new skates!  Not only do they have laces, but they are GOLD and black!  AND there was a grown up sized pair, so the request has already been made that Daddy receives a matching pair (I don’t think Daddy is ready to “upgrade”).  Of course now there is an adjustment period as he gets used to the new blades – better quality is better skating but it’s harder for him to get up when he falls (and since he’s trying very hard NOT to lie on the ice for the duration…).

We’ve also started the indoctrination of our future gold medalist for women’s hockey.  Of course she wants to do everything her older brother does, so now our almost-two-year-old has her very own brand new hockey stick.  Which will come in handy when she becomes the team mascot, bringing us from 75% to 100% participation in the Mites team.  From mascot to medal stand…. but no pressure of course!

Heat and Hockey

Granted, it is unseasonably warm this first week of November.  In fact, we tied the record high yesterday at 74 degrees.  And I just have to say, that heat and hockey do not mix.  Not only is it hard to plan the attire for hockey practice (for me, not the hockey player), but apparently the heat affects the children as well. 

As for the attire, without thinking I dressed for a 40 degree ice rink.  Needless to say the walk from the car to the rink was a little warm in my fleece sweatshirt.  Not a huge deal, but I imagine it must complicate things for warm states, or summer leagues.  Do you suffer the heat of the outdoors in order to be comfortable while watching your children on the ice, or do you dress for the rest of your day and bring the required layers in to the rink?  You could bring a second hockey bag complete with jeans, sweatshirt and/or coat, hat, mittens, and of course, the requisite Hockey Mom Blanket (I still need to get one of those!).  Either way, life has got to be easier when the outdoor temp is closer to the rinkside temp.

But not only did the warm temps throw off my game, it appeared to have a negative effect on the kids too.  While my child lie prone on the ice once again (despite the pep talk we had just before in the locker room – the heat interfered with either my delivery or his reception of the message), other skaters were suffereing similar fates.  Another boy who usually requires dragging from the rink was off the ice and half undressed before his Hockey Mom even knew what was happening.  Other mothers echoed my frustration with their own children.  Seemed many of the kids ran out of gas earlier than usual and the ice was cleared early in the evening. 

So was it the weather?  The post-Halloween sugar crash?  Impossible to know for sure, but lets hope next week is colder outside and hotter on the ice!

Two more under the belt

Another weekend is over which means we’ve had two more hockey practices.  I can say that bribery is a good trick for the Hockey Mom to keep on hand.  

You can only have a treat from the vending machine if you do not lie down on the ice.  Ok…  So what do you do if you fall down?  Get back up!  And if you fall down again?  Get up again!  And if you fall down one more time?  GET UP!!  

And it worked!  But I did notice, after two more practices, that mine was not the only child found lying on the ice at times.  Nor was he the only one crying… but he was the first to get off the ice.  And I was just beginning to think that he really didn’t like hockey and that we were pushing too much on him too soon.  He was, afterall, crying that he was not having any fun.  Upon further questioning, it appears that hockey is not the real problem.  The problem, it seems, was the game that was being played during practice, a game in which the goal is to get the puck (or ball, I’m not sure which they were using at that point) away from the kid who has it!  Imagine the dear child suffering through someone taking the puck away from him!  Poor thing.  New rule for next week: NO crying!  If someone takes the puck away, go and get it back (or follow whatever other rule is laid out by the coach).  

Thus begins the life lessons of defeat and loss.  It appears my generation (or that slightly before me) has stopped keeping score because they do not want their precious child to feel “bad” about losing.  Unfortunately, this has the devastating result of never providing the children with the opportunity to learn to lose (or win for that matter) gracefully, with poise and sportsmanship.  And by the way, once the children are old enough to count, they know who scores more… they just don’t know how to handle it properly one way or the other.  And by the way, there’s really nothing wrong with losing.  Even the pros lose sometimes.  It’s how we deal with loss that makes a difference, but by not keeping score we are depriving our children of learning exactly how to deal with it.

But back to me and my kid.  We have tried really hard not to always “let” him win, and yet apparently we haven’t raked him across the coals quite enough!  We’ve won our share of card games and have tried to teach him to shake hands and say, “Good game!” whether he wins or loses.  We’ve sat through several tantrums when he wasn’t the winner and enforced that we wouldn’t be playing with him if that was how he acted.  But when it comes to hockey, we have always let him play!  So now he gets frustrated if he isn’t in control of the game, if he isn’t the one with the puck, or if he didn’t make the decision to provide the puck to someone else or send the puck into the net himself.

In the kitchen, hockey is his game, his rules, his officiating.  Parents, sister, dog and cat may interrupt or enhance the game, but it is still his game.  In the kitchen.  On the ice, there are eight other kids who likely have similar problems.  The game belongs to each of them, but each of them individually.  And that makes it one tough hour.  Interestingly, the hockey program does not even concentrate on “team” skills until a couple levels up from where we are now.  This year and at least next year, we focus primarily on individual skills.  This sort of makes sense for me, afterall you have to know how to skate with a stick before you can run passing drills.  On the flip side, having 12 “individuals” on the ice who have not practiced sharing and losing and winning doesn’t sound much fun to me. 

But I’m sure they know what they’re doing.  It is a relatively successful program.  So I’m just along for the ride, however wild it may get!

First Day

Technically, we missed the first day because we were on vacation, so our first day was really the second day.  And I missed most of that because I was getting the dog out of the kennel where he spent his vacation.  But I made it to the rink to see enough to warrant the establishment of two new rules for our miniature hockey player:

#1 – No lying on the ice
#2 – Listen to the coach

Having never played hockey, and barely even able to skate, I couldn’t tell you what it’s like to be out on the ice for an hour at a time.  I need to keep this in mind when I’m watching my child in a prone position for the better part of several minutes.  I wonder, is he hurt? tired? bored? obstinate?  What is his problem?  He says he wants to play hockey, so why is he lying there with no signs of getting up?  I’m paying good money for this – he needs to get up!!  

But then I wonder what my parents would have thought if/when they watched my swim practices.  Were they just as frustrated when I skipped laps because I had a cramp (some real, some imagined)?  Did they ask the same questions?  Is she hurt? tired? bored? obstinate? Why am I paying for this if she’s not even swimming?  I imagine they would have, if they were watching.  And, of course, this would apply to when I was 16 years old, not just 4 years old.  So I should probably cut him some slack… I still instituted rule #1.

Rule #2 doesn’t require explanation, but I guarantee it will require reiteration.  And probably for the next 17 years.

One practice.  Two rules.  I think we’re off to a good start!